::_memories unforgottened_::
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
November 2004
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
October 2005
February 2006
March 2006
November 2006
December 2006
December 2007
May 2008
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
------ d i s a p p o i n t m e n t ------
------ d i s a p p o i n t m e n t ------
Boohoo~ Back to the normal school days again~ Three days liaoz.....Haf been slowly back to my revision again~ No more excitment but juz disappoinments~
By 2dae~ haf gotten back most of my prelim papers~ Juz two words~ 'Screwed up!' Yea` Everything was below expectation~ Especially Math and GP which I haf put in the most effort. GP : my essay did super badly. oni got 22.5/50. Way below my normal average. Dunno is exam stress or what but when i read my own essay again~ Its juz total crap and rubbish larz! Dunno what Im writing manz~ Still tinking of aiming for a B3 and above for A'level so tat I can haf a chance of taking law~ I tink i can screw the idea as well le larz~
Math also. Haf been practising prelim papers like siaoz~ While most ppl spend most of their time studying things like physics and chem, I put my whole focus on Math manz~Haf been doing prelim papers non-stop~ And even the prelim papers tat i had done did not seemed that bad. But Prelim~ Ended up also 'screwed!' Got like an E was realli not worth my effort larz! Went for tuition juz to show Mrs Low my papers~ And it was to her disappoinment too~ She sae she thought she could expect at least a B or smt from mi~ Wad the~ Then she went through the papers and commented tat the marking was rather strict. But still, can't blame my grades merely on tat ritz~ no matter how strict, still shouldn't end up an E manz!!! Then she went through the questions wif mi again and realised that I haf a total of abt 20+ careless marks! That makes it 2 more grades to C!!! The paper was not difficult at all and is supposed to b do-able to mi~ Haiz~ dunno y also i tink i juz naturally will grow stupider during exams~ Haiz~ Simply 'Screwed!!!'
Evening time~ After much sobing~ Watched 'Get Real' on Chn News Asia~ The topic was on exactly how kind are Singaporeans. Truely, Singaporeans donate so much to charity praogrammes every year, but on the road, do people realli still show the same amount of kindness to people who realli need help??? Tat realli makes mi start tinking. Realli~ is money all that matters?!?! Guess Singaporeans realli haf to evaluate on what exactly kindness is right in the bottom of our heart.
Evaluation on myself: I volunteer. And I enjoy doing it. But how exactly genuine am I when it comes to helping people? Am I doing it because of the people I do it wif? Or is it because of my commitment to the organization? Or is it because I juz enjoy the aknowledgement of my effort from the people I volunteer wif? I dunno~ Some how all this seems part and parcel of everything~ But I thing I can't deny is I really love every moment that I've volunteered. Whether or not Its wif Bishan Home, Cheshire Home, Metta Hougang, or any other places I've gone to. though I seldom visit them recently, somehow I misses them. Mayb its bcos I've alreadi regarded them as my friends.
Still, the problem lies wif how genuine am I when it comes to helping people? If i didn't haf joined YVIP 4 yrs ago which opens mi to the various homes and programmes for volunteering, would I still haf been so passionate abt volunteering? Like, I oni seemed to volunteer well whenever I visit Homes or during events. On the road, when i realli see people who needs my help, why is there always this sudden jerk holds mi back from helping the ppl on the road? Somehow it seems to mi that I will mind how and if ppl look at mi when im on the street for other purposes. And sometimes I seemed to allow myself to tink ' Let them learn to b independent, they shouldn't need our help all the time.' Is this some kind of excuss that I give o myself? I dunno....
Somehow, Im suddenly veri disappointed wif myself. Wif everything that im doing, and wif how genuine I am to myself. I dunno. Is it worth it all? Is it the Christine I am, or is it the Christine that I've always assumed myself to b?
::__. eXquisTic . SoPhiStIcaTion____::
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Sunday, September 26, 2004
+#+#+#+# h o l y s u n d a y #+#+#+#+
+#+#+#+# h o l y . s u n d a y #+#+#+#+
Woohz~ wad a boring sunday...nothing much to do.....so started a bit or revision again and to plan my A-level revision schedule starting on mon.....
Yeah~ did nothing much 2dae realli. Slept a lot though. Evening time, Grandma invited us to go her church to celebrate Mid-Authum. Its been a long time since i last went church. Wasn't realli veri keen on going. Mid-authum at churhc~ How interesting~
Yeah~ went juz bcos Grandma wants us to go. Haiz...go there dunno aniwan. Sat in the service hall and wait for the 'celebration' to start. Oh no...the whole session is in chinese~ Realli gonna put mi to sleep manz~ Look around and everyone is like two generations away from mi~ Bet mi and my sis's the youngest in the hall manz~
Yeah~ the celebration was juz some singing and some riddle guessing related to mid-authum~ then there was some presentation to fight the scientific explanation abt how our Earth, the planets and everything else in the universe os formed.Yea~ their theory was that God created everything and everything came from the hands of God~ I tink i most prob believe it oni in the religious level manz~But mi as a modern educated science student realli find everything absurb~Blarz~ Then came the preaching by some chinese pastor~ Realli puts mi to sleep cos i dun understand anitink he was toking abt manz~ Not oni mi~ Mum and Dad also~ I even started playing my phone's game manz~ (so bad!!!)muahaha~ I bet Grandma was the oni wan listening manz~
Aniwae after everything~ We juz followed grandma around when she go around toking to her friends. She kept introducing us to her friends and we juz haf to put up a smily front~ Then they will all like 'Wahz u veri lucky horz~ got so many grandchildren,daughter, son and in-laws to come church wif u'
Haha~ then u see the twinkle in my grandma's eyes~ She's juz so proud of us and so happy that we are willing to come wif her. Tink despite all the boredem, can see grandma so happy~ I didn't regret going after all. Haha~ Love my grandmother a lot!!! *mUacks* Guess its always the greatest delight for older peopel to b able to get the company of their children and grandchildren~ I tink i juz haf to spend more time wif grandma~
*Happy Mid-Authum!!!*
::__. eXquisTic . SoPhiStIcaTion____::
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Saturday, September 25, 2004
*-*-*-* c o u n c i l o u t i n g *-*-*-*-*
*-*-*-* c o u n c i l . o u t i n g *-*-*-*-*
Finally got council outing again!!!! hahaha~ Its the usual ppl again~ mi, kok, shuhui, feb, shyuan, wanwei, guz, junhui, raymond.... Went to watch Residential Evil....Didn't noe what show it is but hack larz...juz watch larz....Everyone try to scare mi tat its scary, but its not tat scary overall wadz....juz some city of zombies typical story...tink i watch tis type of show mani times liaoz...haha~ the oni time i got scared was when wan wan suddenly grap mi and made mi screamed~ lolz!
After tat went Paradiz Centre to play pool....HAha~ guess wad new discovery I made abt myself!!!! Im as tall as a pool cue!!!! lolz! Yea~ played pool and tycolly won twice. So long never play liaoz....quite miss the feel but i wasn't realli veri much into pool actually, was more attracted to the arcade outside. Played Datona (tink i spell wrongly) and tis cycling thingy which was sooooooo tiring!! but i improved after many tries...which made mi so tired~ DAmm~ I bet everyone's laughing at mi play such a spastic game!!!
Haha~ and finally....the highlight of the day~ we went CHINATOWN!!! Yesh~ Im the stupid person who keep saying i wan to go Chinatown~ Mid-authum coming liaoz marhz~ I wan to go there see see shop shop~ And its the first time i ever go to Chinatown!!! Yes~ im a sua-gu Singaporean~ But realli wadz never go b4 ....Wahz~ didn't noe Chinatown so re nao manz!!! So many things to see buy and eat~So Fun!!! Walk down the many streets and went into many shops to see many cHinese stuff~ quite cool ya~Saw a lot of things tat i've never seen b4!!! like some Jade egg thingy~ and many more larz....Bought some beautiful handmade bookmarks for aesthec and a quite delicate candle holder for myummy's bdae~ Woohoo~! So fun~ Even more fun because i went wif council ppl!!! Febri even spotted the Hippo Bus manz!!! hahah~ Stupid Raymond sae like bring xiao hai zi go out like tat~ But i first time go there wadz~ of cos more excited larz! ARGH! Hahah` but walk for sooo long~ my leg veri tired siaz~ Finally got a chance to sit down and drink haf some coconut b4 going home~ hahaha~ even eating coconut was so much joke~
Reach home pretty late~ so tired.....But sooo funnnnnn.....Hahaha!!!! =)
::__. eXquisTic . SoPhiStIcaTion____::
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Friday, September 24, 2004
+*+*+*+* s e n t o s a o n c e a g a i n *+*+*+*+
+*+*+*+* s e n t o s a . o n c e . a g a i n *+*+*+*+
Beautiful Friday.....No sch~ No stress~ Went Sentosa wif Jianing, Shin, Raf and Joanne (Raf's friend) 2dae. Nice weather i muz say...Got sun but not too hot~Soooo Nice!!! Silosa pretty crowded although it is a school day. Guess most ppl's out there to destress themselves after the exams.
Saw a lot of ppl there... some NY guys, some ex-St'nick's trackers, and got Chn U artist Shen Qing Shan and Ben and his wife. Haha~ Ben is so super skinny! Compared to Shen Qing Shan who got such a hot body~ hahah~
Went sun-tann on raf's mini little mat. (Didn't wan to get tann though~ oni wan to get red.haha) But like no effect lehz....Then we played vball. Haha~ we can't play for nuts larz....Make a fool of ourselves and keep laughing non-stop. But realised mi and Jo was quite gd partner yea~ Managed to trash Raf and Shin who tried so hard to discuss techniques to spike and win us....Lolz~ We no pro siaz~ Dun try to fly before u noe how to walk....lolz~
Aniwae played vball wif some HP company people who went there for a retreat~ Then they even treated us their buffet dinner(haha save $ on dinner~ )Even bought us drinks~ Nice ppl I muz sae~ Veri friendly. They seemed like having great fun at Sunset Bay, drinking, playing games and chatting~ Tink its not bad to work in such a fun company yea~ Oh yar~ made friends wif a few of them like WF and Yew Thong. Chatted a lot wif them .Haha~ who says ppl of diff age will haf generation gap and communication prob.... Aniwae WF keep asking us to b aware of YT. Dunno whether to take him seriously anot but aniwae aiya~ friends that dunno veri well...better be more aware....
HAha` Yea~ in short~ Had a fun day at Sentosa~ Oh yar~ Seemed pretty nice to haf a mini party at Sunset Bay juz like they did~ Mayb I shall haf 1 one day~ Some Christmas Party of mayb even Birthday Pary!!! oooo~ So exciting~ muahahaha~~~
::__. eXquisTic . SoPhiStIcaTion____::
Friday, September 24, 2004
Thursday, September 23, 2004
><><><> k a i . x i n <><><><
><><><> k a i . x i n <><><><
Haha~ woahz....so long never blog liaoz.....finally got time to come here update a bit....hahah~yesH! finally~ the tortuorous prelims are over! FINALLY! Tat explains for my heading yea~ 'KaI XiN!' (hAPpy!!!)wahahah~ tink i've screwed up my prelims again....but aniwae...no point crying over split milk....gonna juz enjoy for the rest of the week then start mugging real hard for A's liaoz....
Wohhoo~ yesterday went town wif cline, siewpoh,joan, shyuan, fiona and yue ru....wahahah~ so long never step into town liaoz....so exciting....siew poh they all keep saying tat im veri high....and Yue ru sae im finally in the mood for shopping liaoz....haha~ of cos manz....town~ my comfort zone...lolz~ Had pasta at Scotts....saw a lot of cjcians like kaiyan, joshua, edwin, stephanie etc....thomas said he saw mi and walk past mi but i did not recognize him....oopse...~ haha~ sorry dude~its like almost 1 yr since i last saw him...cannot blamm marhz.... Also saw the rjians, zhimin and tiffany. Wahah~ and guess wad~ i broke record yesterday by finishing one whole plate of pasta myself~ lolz~ Achievement! Then went shopping...there's so mani things that i wan to buy manz.......If oni im a million- air!!!
Hahah~ 2dae!!! slept until super late ( so as to catch back my beauty sleep tat i've sacrified during exams) then went to cut hair and went for dental appoinment....woohooo~ the dentist was away, so i walk around Funan to entertain myself...*sob* so bored to walk around alone~ bUt guess wad!!! I finally found the 'HONEY' Vcd tat i've been looking for ages!!!! sO exciting!!!! My favourite dance show~ hahah! So happy!
After dental, -- came to pick mi up since he was around the area~ He's so shock by my new hair style..hahah!He say he thought i will never cut my beloved hair short. Walked around the clark quay area~ seldom get a chance to hang arnd Clark Quay in its quiet state...Quite nice though....wif the river breeze and bumper boats...haha~ mayb its time i change my lifestyle to a quieter one..Its quite nice ya~ Sat down and had a cup of coffee at Coffee Beans~ So shiok, away from all the bustle and rush~ Then we went Mita Building to hang around...WAhz...there so arty manz....love tat place , like i can juz stay there for the whole rest of the afternoon juz looking at all the art pieces and get myself update wif all the arts events...SO shiok~ -- had to go meet his parents for dinner~ so i had to go home myself...*sob*sob*
Honey--> Yesh~ watch the show the 2nd time but still so enchanted by the hip-hop dances inside. Can't wait to go learn hip hop after A's. Aniwae, mayb its not juz the dance only in the show that makes mi fall madly in love wif the show, its the passion that Honey have on dancing that's really inspiring. Also, many reflective issuses in the show like the street children straying into gangs because of family problems, how one person haf an influnece to save a group of talented but strayed lost children from going into the wrong path of life, how the rich and famous can be actually juz siply jerk, and definately how Honey's boyfriend gave her the absolute support and trust in watever she do...
Ultimately, the good always win, the ending (the concert part) is so torching. THe children really showed wat is passion for dance, and how music and dance can bring people of different background and status to come together , and to the agreement that nothing is more important then being able to do what is of one's passion. Love that! Yeah` aniwae.....now wif the vcd, i can watch the show a hundred times more liaoz...hahah~ so happy~~!~!!
::__. eXquisTic . SoPhiStIcaTion____::
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Saturday, September 04, 2004
>+<+>+< c e d r i c >+<+>+<
>+<+>+=-c e d r i c-=+<+>+<
Haiz....my brother my brother my brother....wasted my whole of 2dae on my bro.Did nothing but look after my bro and entertain him. Now I know why my mother always haf to scream at him...simply cos he never listens....
Actually if he's juz purely mischevious or naughty, it wouldn't be so much of a bother to me. What's worrying mi is that he's always in his own world~ Juz doing watever he wants, whether or not its right or wrong, or if it irritates others or not....worse thing is... my whole family seems to b giving in to him!!! Haiz...of cos larz...the only son, and the youngest of all, of cos muz dote on him. My stupid sister also forever giving in to him and give him everything that he want..Everything also nvm nvm nvm...
Not that im jealous or what, but somehow, I feel tat its juz not right, I mean like that how is he gonna learn?!? I know i am alreadi spoilt enough...but at the rate that he is being given eveything the way he wants....he's gonna b worse then mi!!! Haiz....
I also dunno y i feel this way larz.... all i know is tat he's my only brother and I love him a lot....Not because everyone say he's good looking or what. But...haiz....dunno how to say....I juz want the best out of him, juz want to make sure that he grows up to b somewan with substance and not juz an empty shell. My mother always say my sister dote on him more , treat him better tat type of thing, but if i do the same as everyone else, hu's gonna let him learn? Guess I juz haf to be the bad guy larz......No choice....
Juz brought him for his swimming lesson. As usual, he's sooo naughty, people swim, he play. Always get scolded by his coach. I brought my notes to study, but my attention was on Cedric. He's not putting in any effort at all lorz. Or should I say He's juz playing his way through. Can see he 'enjoyed' his lesson so much.... It worrys mi. I mean he said he's interested in it. But he's not putting in the effort to bring out the best in himself. At least from my own philosophy or mayb my own experience, I feel that if want to do soemthing, then be the best of it, or at least put in enough effort to say that I've done my best. I dun wan Cedric to regret like I did. Its gonna b too late..... I want him to be the best! Not juz brush through everything. I know the importance of enjoying what we are doing.....but its juz reality in this society that if u
r not up to it, u'r nothing! Its cruel but harsh! I know Cedric is smart and he's veri talented in many areas. Its obvious, and im sure im not the only wan hu realised it. All he needs is the proper grooming, which in the first place, he's needs to accept other people's teaching and comments, not explore it in his own world. Haiz....
I scolded him after his lesson and he got angry. Refused to hold my hand while going home. I know he dun like people to say that he's not good. I know he's sad. But I shall still believe that it will b a part of growing. Even if he dun understand it of hate mi for it...at least let it affect his life but make him realise the need to perfectise at time.
I dunno if im doing it the right way. Mayb I shouldn't b thinking in this way. Or mayb its because of the way I grow up that makes mi believe that the hardest road is the way to success. I dunno but all I know is that regretting is the worst feeling ever and should be avoided at all cost. Mayb I should juz try to tok sense to him. But with his stubborn character now from all the doting from everyone else, I dun tink toking sense will be efficeint. I dunno...juz hope that everything turns out well for him and he will understand it next time......
::__. eXquisTic . SoPhiStIcaTion____::
Saturday, September 04, 2004
